Whitewater Ruined My Life

As I sit here in my high-rise apartment in Calgary, with the Snow Report not even trying to hide on my Favourites bar in Internet Explorer, I come to realize that Whitewater Ski Resort has single-handedly ruined my life. It's difficult to concentrate on daily tasks as I find myself constantly concocting strategies of how and when I can get back to Nelson asap.I'm not alone. For some, it's the small-town, friendly atmosphere, where you are adopted as a local after just a few days of shredding the pow. Or maybe it's the backcountry (or slackcountry) for some combined with sweet terrain, local brewskis and the best ski food ever. Out-of-towners make it a yearly trip with friends, making sure to hit up Coldsmoke or combining their trip with a day at Red or Retallack.But for most, it's the snow. Dumploads and dumploads of snow. Lots for you, lots for me, and lots for the old timers like Rocky and Bud who include Whitewater in their daily routines. If you know me at all, you know I'm a terrible skier. I get stuck in the trees and have to hike out, I insist on hitting the moguls and going in the bowl, and I take jumps - even the ones I know I won't land because really, when you're landing on a 35cm pillow, only your face will be hurting from smiling so much.To this day I find every possible moment to brag about the place. Not long ago I remember showing the promotional YouTube video to a buddy; at first they scoffed at the old school double chairs (??what!!! and only three?!?? but wait for it... oh yes, then come the powder shots of the pros flying top speed through the powder, through the trees, over jumps and past the camera with wild grins the size of Ymir Bowl and not a care in the world. That type of bliss rockets through the computer screen and hits you like an avalanche.Whitewater, you have created monsters. Snow Snob Monsters. I find myself judging the conditions for the ski hills within a reasonable distance of this city; cross-examining them to try to find the moderate temperatures that Nelson has seemed to perfect, a decent amount of freshies and a well packed snow base. A standard recipe, but should one element be missing there is no skiing for this chic.I miss the days where it is an unwritten rule (actually, probably the only rule Nelson chooses to follow) that if the overnight snowfall amounts to more than 30cms, the entire town shuts down, giving notice to the few public stuck in the centre by way of scrawled explanations (on recycled paper of course!) on shop windows, including the head office of Whitewater.Nelson is the type of place that most forget to leave; and if you do remember, you will forever be trying to find your way back again. It's scarred the hearts of countless Auzzie and Kiwi lifties and instructors as their work visas sadly run out, and has stolen the souls of those who came out west to find themselves.So take this as a warning. If you're only looking for a one-night stand and don't want to get involved in a long-term relationship; avoid Whitewater at all costs. It will suck you in maybe as a weekend trip no doubt, or a fling during your vacation at Red Mountain ?? but - you'll be back. A 16 hours' drive round trip for 7 of the best hours of your skiing life? A 22 hour flight from Auckland? Spending every day of the winter hitching from Nelson up to the lodge? Don't even try to think you're the first.Just get your ass there. And for the love of Ull'r, take me with you.By Lindsay Minor.