Harper?? Bears Maul Patrollers

Prime Minister Harper?? trip to China ended with a most unusual ??Friendship??Gift: two panda bears. The furry duo will be living between the Calgary and Toronto zoos for the next decade. Though these rare bears (2,500 left world-wide) will generate revenue from excited viewers, it?? the ski resorts that will pay the real price.The two bears are expected to consume an approximate 200 Million Dollars worth of bamboo annually. As they are an endangered species, using North American bamboo for other purposes will be in violation of the Endangered Species Act, as it is????Removing resources necessary for an endangered animal?? survival.??Effective immediately, you will see a decrease in bamboo flooring and clothing sales, but on the ski hill you won?? be seeing something in place for your safety.??We use bamboo to mark of rocks, winch cables, and other danger. Without the ??boo we need, the public won?? be aware of these hazards,??complains Colby Lehman, Assistant Operations Manager at Whitewater Ski Resort. ??The endangered species people don?? understand why it works so well. It?? strong, light, and won?? injure a skier if they crash into it. They have given us two ridiculous alternatives: wooden 2x4s or rebar.??The nearby culture town of Nelson is pressuring Whitewater to comply.But skiers and Snowboarders couldn?? be happier with the news. ??Finally, those geezer patrollers can?? block off my favorite jumps,??says an enthusiastic Lucas Fodder. The 29 year-old snowboarder says the pandas are just what Canadian ski resorts need. The two pandas, Lu Ji and Er Shun, arrive in Canada in 2013.Happy April Fools!